just read isabelle's blog. she has copied and pasted some philosphies about love and all. there were like a total of 6-7 entries, all about a foot long. I read the first three, then gave up. its all so.. well, chim city. when i was reading, all that went through my mind was, "huh?" well, i'm not that bad, i could understand some stuff. like, "there is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. for fear has to do with punishment, and he who fears is not perfected in love." its ironical [for me, that is ;) ]

she talked about unconditional love and all. yea, gave me a clearer view on it. i'll read the next four entries another time. since she cant use the net often, when she gets to use it, she enters a whole lot of entries in one go. i felt like my eyes were gonna pop when i saw how many words there were.

daniel has only been gone for a day, and i already feel weird.

on my way to school this morning when i stepped on the bus, my nose immediately caught the smell of mustiness. yeech. i was tempted to get down and take another bus, but i was already running late. it felt as if there was a gas leak or something. the smell was absolutely revolving. i was literally gagging in the bus. couldnt stand the smell. after that it subsided [i think it was because i grew accustomed to the smell].

there's no compulsory study in school tomorrow!! yay.. but the bad news is.... there's still badmin training. -groan.

i sms-ed alson during our breaks today, and i was always afraid the termination of the sim card will occur any moment. and i wonder when the phone stocks will come in. i'm sooo reliant on my phone. always reaching out for it. regardless whether i was busy or not. yea, anw, i gotta go. nothing much to write anw. tata.

keep dreaming of the guys lately. guess i miss them.

mmz, tot of felix this morning. tot abt the times when we were good friends and all. he used ta call me 'dog' while i called him 'cat'. well you know, felix and felix the cat... yea i guess you get the idea. he called me 'dog' nt in an insultive way. juz that in sch he'd touch my hair n pat my head. we were good friends back then. he can be really caring at times.

but i dont know how he got astray. he got into a gang, started riots and got expelled in the end. hai. wonder what happened to him. he's really cool when he was a normal student back in sec2. miss the days when we'd juz sms each other to find out how the other was doing. share problems, juz joke.. yea.. ...

could only go back at around 7 today. i never left school so late. it was so isolated and all. gave me the creeps. i wished someone would be there w/ me.

[haha, the ringtone for my mom's message alert and her caller alert was the same, so when she got a message just now, she went "hello? oh, its an sms". i kept laughing at her. yea anw... ....]

let my mind wander in the bus.. aiya, got so distracted by my mom singing that i forgot what i wanted to type.. yeesh..

anw, when the bus was nearing tiong, i tot i saw daniel, but it was just my mind playing tricks on me. i hate it when that happens. y'know, when you miss someone or didnt see someone for quite some time, you start seeing his/her face everywhere. duno why that happens. gets people excited only to be bitterly disappointed in the end.

hai. was so lonely today [on the way home i mean]. i'm usually alone on my way home, but jiajun takes the same bus as me, so its comforting to see a familiar face. saw like, so many couples when i was gazing absentmindedly out the window. whenever i see couples i'd feel a pang in my heart. like i'm envious or something. i guess i am..

juz that when you're always with someone special and suddenly you decided to obey your parents and wait till you're allowed to date, the feeling of being alone doesnt really help. but jon once told me that one cant feel weird being alone, because you'd be alone in the beginning years of ur life, right? yea, jon made a whole lot of sense. mmz, had a great time w/ jon that time. you can call it a date or something, but it sure felt like one. heez. but u knw, juz a couple of friends going out..

man, my mom sure is no. 1 weird. she juz kissed me on the head and said to me, "oh man, i dont know what to do w/ you. to whack you or to hug you". i juz laughed but in my head i was going "yala yala". i think she said that cuz i wanted n6260. =P

starved myself today. its not on purpose, so dont think i'm on a hunger strike or something. hadnt time for breakfast and lunch since i woke up late this morning. counted on getting a snack when our break came in the middle of our study period. but it was soooo quiet in the room that i put on my music for some company and didnt hear the teacher say it was time for a break. by the time i realised it was the break i only had time to get a drink from the machine.

went to sch early this morning cuz ms thio woke me up via phone. hai. there is this badmin camp but i had ms lim everyday. so ya. the camp was also in sch so she told me to go over for awhile. they were playing captains' ball so i sat on a bench and studied. whoa, i really studied man. it was a surprise.

i got listless during the study. even the teacher came over and asked whats wrong. juz said i was tired and all. and hungry too..

and i got caught in the rain again!! there was shelter home but i had no idea why i took my usual way. have been caught in the rain for a few times. about, 5 in two weeks? if i get a cold i wouldnt be surprised. but i wouldnt be complaining either. at least i would be able to get off the study period for a day or two. it would be a nice change.

haha, made fun of karthis while we were waiting to be dismissed today. laughed till our faces turned red. oh, saw xiu feng during her gb camp. ran over and gave her a hug. met jontang before his camp started. we talked for about 20mins, then i had ta go into the office le. mmmz, made my way home by bus today. thought about many things. as usual.

was thinking about the day all of us went to the beach w/ xiu feng. remembered when i led her to a spot where i had written a message. she started laughing. it was something i wanted to show daniel. but he didnt follow me...

suddenly tot about gab and her stupid mua ji joke. was smiling to myself then. i remembered our misbelieving looks when she told us and started laughing herself.

i want a job!! :(

gab got a job, kristal got a job, sherlyn got a job, alson got a job, i want a job!! they've got like, big money rolling in and i'm worrying whether my work will be satisfactory for the vp. hai. one more week to go, mich.. jia you..

second entry for today. just left out something i wanted to say.

michael moscovitz is so cool!! he's what every girl wants and dreams about. he's a fantasy he's a hope he's a dream!!

he's so dreamy and cool and all. i mean, yea, sherlyn was right. i'd want to have a guy like him once i hear about him. and if he looks like everyone thinks he does, mia thermopolis is the luckiest girl on earth!

wish i could get someone like michael moscovitz. if i can get someone like him i'll never fantasize again.

ms lim was in a surprisingly good mood today. she let us off at 1720, usually we'd get let off around 1800. but well, i'm not complaining.

saw ms thio, mr chia and 4 badmin members when i was accompanying sixuan to the lockers. they asked whether i was going for the camp and all. sebastian was there also, and he said, "hey, werent you at wisma?" i was like, "oh you saw me?" [went to wisma for dinner w/ jon on saturday]. he started laughing and said, "with a guy right?? haha, must be your boyfriend". so i was like.. um.. didnt say anything to that statement.. den ms thio asked for my form and blablabla. sebastian kept joking about me and jon. yea anw..

whenever i take the bus home and get lost in my music and stuff, i would always walk home lifeless and all. like its my last day on earth and im thinking about all my regrets. hahaa. but yea, i spend my time alone with myself thinking about everything. mostly about daniel and all.

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i gtg.

spent most of today finishing up a puzzle i had left last night and studying 6 chapters of studying. actually not really studying, just making notes. no mood to study. i envy those people who dont have to worry about studying and can spend a day after another jsut stoning or chilling. when i'm let off the study thinger i still have to compelte 6hours of study per day. am i supposed to study on Christmas day??

many things have been happening. not one good thing. feeling so sian these few days. holiday fever. haha. not literally yea. oh! i havent done my timetable!! okie okie i gotta go le. till tmr

i just got an email from khuong!! he said he was going to some country for a missionary trip. said he felt that was what God wanted him to do. yay!! im so happy he believes in God now. the last time i saw him his impression of Christianity was "zzz". i remember once he slept during out church sermon. gab dragged him there, and in order to please his gf he went lor. hai miss him quite alot. it was fun the year in which he was in singapore.

anw, i went to watch the incredibles with jon today. from the moment i met him i knew today was gonna be fun. we went to west mall and picked the 14:30 movie. and mr wonderful misread his watch, and we went to the theatre at 1330. popcorn in hand, we had to wait for an hour. yeesh. but that hour was okay. we just sat down and talked. movie was great.

ya after the movie didnt know what to do. jon wanted to eat, so we went to orchard. we kept walking and walking. i duno why jon wanted to go there on a saturday. -__-" we combed most of taka and tangs, and finally found a place in mac. really really really enjoyed myself today. hardly ever get the chance to hang loose with a friend or two. told him my problems, and he let me in on a technique on how to help people with their problems. cant believe he thought that out all by himself. but now he pang seh me on msn to call xiu feng. hai.

it was great fun today. its been so long since i've been that happy.

had terrible insomnia last night. only managed to sleep at 4am. and now i look droopy and dead. when i gave up trying ta sleep in my bed, i went out to the couch and read a book, put together a jigsaw puzzle, and watched some tv. after that i got tired [finally].

its strange how i couldnt get to sleep. i think its stress.. from my studies to miss lim to my personal probs.. and i got terrible muscle aches from yesterday's training. i have to study again and i have art later. the problem is, gab insists its at 1430, while when i told mdm lim [art teacher] i'd be there at 10 [cuz i thought it started then], she didnt say it was 1430 or something. ya and if its at ten, im dead, because its already 0945.

hmmm, i'm hungry, but i dont feel like eating. hais.. one problem after another after another. i think i better put the rest aside and focus on my studies, so i can complete my "detention" on the 3rd of dec and go out with jon then. we wanted ta go out this month, but thanks to ms lim i cant have my nov holiday.

there's something wrong with my blog. i cant get in. dunno what the point of writing all these.. duno if anyone can see it.. ahhhhh.. nvm...

aiya, there's something wrong with my friendster. ah who cares. who uses that now.

went for badmin training. geez, when i played doubles with two sec1 guys they were hardly serious. got abit irritated.

den had the 3hr study thinger. did phy tys 4chapters. in the midst of the last chapter i nearly gave up. hais. managed ta complete it in the end. i've enough of studies for now. i still hav to go back tomorrow for an hour of study, then about 3 hours of art.

talked ta mr kwa for awhile after my study. yea.. didnt see him for quite a long time. anw... i gotta go. till tomorrow.

saw tha teacher today. she wuz really funny and all, makin jokes all the time. since i followed her to the office and then to tha humans room, she knew me, so she always used me as examples n stuff. wuz abit embarrassed. yea anw, did a composition entitled "unwelcomed visitors", so ah used muh old compo, and just wrote it from memory. surprisingly i took like one and a half hours ta complete it. i left out the laryngitis part tho. [nvm if yuh dont understand]

anw, on tha bus home started thinkin since i didnt have any discman with me. yea, started thinkin about everything.. will pen some thoughts down in my other diary. tha written one. ;)

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went ta school at bout, say, 850. yea, and guess what. had ta wait for bout an hour fifteen mins, and got called into wong b.g.'s office. yea and she talked n talked n talked. its like her vocab's very little, y'know? always repeatin the same stuff over n over. "thisi s unacceptable, this is unacceptable". we were standin in the stupid office fer like 3 hours? and the wonderful ms lim finally came out n just asked us each a qn, "what did we learn today"

i was like.. i mean, we spent 3 hours standin in her office. 3 unproductive hours. when dad came ta pick me up he asked what i did today. i juz said stand in her office fer 3 hours. he told me actually ms lim's a rather nice lady, but very nice ta make fun of. yea that i agree.

he also said she means well, just that she doesnt know how ta express herself. y'know, use all tha wrong methods n all. dad was makin fun of her on the ride over to school. wuz quite amusing. yea anw, apart from that nth much happened.. considerin that i spent my morning in her freezin office..

erm, if yuh noticed a change in muh style of writing, sry.. feelin abit country today. hahs.

went to mount faber today. with my parents. was the ultimate boredom. luckily i had my phone and music to keep my company. after that went to suntec. saw melvin and his parents. dad wanted to get my a sermon disc by Pastor Joseph Prince. yea. but the shop was closed for lunch when we went over.

ya anw thats it for today so see you tomorrow

changed my blogskin again. oh well. couldnt resist this one. polar bears!! =D i love them. they rrrawk. so cute.

spent the past half hour making something for sherlyn and xiu feng for Christmas. i dunno whether they'll like them, its not.. say, very creative or useful. but, oh well, its the thought that counts ya? :)

i'm having loads of trouble with my list of presents to get. i'm totally stumped. i dont know what should/can i get. i'm not that rich with ideas and also in monetary terms. lol.

spent most of today at our other house. mmm, really missed that place. watched gabbie play her game on ps2. mom ordered kfc, and we watched a movie while eating. after that gabby went to play again. studied a little over there, but not enough for ms lim's approval, i guess. i'm stressed now, even though there arent exams.

dad got cranky because of some unknown reason. geez, i hate it when he's in one of his moods. he'd be quiet and always wear an irritable look on his face. whatever my mom did he'd find something wrong with it. i think thats where we [us kids] got out short fuses from. he affected me a little, and now i'm not really on the happy side.

other kids are enjoying themselves now that the hols have started. but i have to stay home and study my head off, and i 'spect ms lim'd want to change my weekday schedule from 4-6 hours minimum per weekday to 6 hours minimum now that the holiday has started. can i like, just skip my meetings with her?...

art class was ok. but at maths.. hais. i listened to music while waiting for the maths class to be over. when listening to music i started reminiscing and looking through the sms-es in my phone. my eyes started getting teary.. and, ya.. kinda wishing my friends hadn't saw me.

anw, after class i didnt feel like being alone. so i sat in the classroom with sherlyn and isabelle. talked with them for awhile. then sherlyn and i felt like sakae. so we took our time to take out our books from the locker. the three of us sat there for quite some time. i got a painkiller from sherlyn to ease the pain of my stomach. annoying.

mmm, had tempura udon and a few plates of sushi. wonderful! felt so happy after that meal. haha. but my stomach still hurt like mad. hais. later maybe gonna stock up my bag with more painkillers without having to kop from sherlyn all the time.

ah.. sian.. gab not home, dad not home, mom not home, danielle not home.. and yeah, i hope my mom's not angry with me.......

went for lunch with my parents just now. hais. my mom was so fickle, so indecisive on where to eat. finally my dad said we should go to this Olio restaurant. so ya, ate, den went to walk. i lugged my social studies book along, or ms lim will start yelling on tuesday. oh gtg, my stomach hurts big time.. cannot tahan le.. bbye..

`[Verse of 10th November.]
Do you see that faith working together with his works, and by works faith was made perfect? -James 2:22

i've bad news. ms luah* is going over to acsi**!! she just told us that acsi requested for her to join them. i cant believe they kop-ed her!! she trains our debate team too! acsi already has a great debate team. go find another teacher, why choose ours?? there're plenty of english teachers, why pick our ms luah......

hais.. i got a great shock when she told us.. really dont want her to go [even though she's not gonna teach me if she stays, but what the heck]. =( even though she only taught me for a year i still got attached to her. her english is really good, and she taught me many many things.. that darn acsi.. -sniff.

i left my phone at home today. it went out of battery yesterday around 5. hadnt remembered to charge it through the night, so might as well leave it home. but when i came home and switched it on, i received like, 17 messages. -_-" my inbox is flooding, like, everytime i switch off my phone or leave it unattended. speaking of which, i fell asleep in my sister's room yesterday night around 830. but i woke up in my own bed. strange. i hardly remembered what happened last night. oh well.

gab pon school today. said she got a headache, but around lunchtime she sms-ed sherlyn, telling her she saw sly at orchard. along with daphne. haiya.. wish i was there too.. geez. i keep missing out on the good stuff. grrr.

when can i get a new phone?? my old one's almost falling apart. hais. i miss my 6610 though. but nvm la, mom said i'll get a new one at the end of this month. with my old one i can only sms, and i cant call or receive calls. -grumble grumble.

*my english teacher
**anglo chinese secondary independent [i think]

The world is watching us - do they see Jesus?

`[Verse of 8th November.]
Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, with all your strength. -Mark 12:30

today's xiu feng's birthday. gave her a hug and said happy birthday befopre leaving. after lessons went to jp to watch a movie. speaking of which, now i'm so freaked out because in english class we had to watch this horror movie because the teachers wanted us to observe how the suspense builds up. aaron and i were covering our eyes and ears for most of the movie. jeez. should have raised up my hand when the teacher asked who couldnt watch. it didnt help too.

met ms lim this morning again. ya and blablabla. she was yelling at keith loy and jiajun, and after them was me. surprisingly, when i entered her office, she said "hi, michelle". she didnt yell at me, thank God. my mom said it was because my dad praised her in front of her boss [moe] before. -shrugs. seems my dad and her know each other.

hais, i have to study for ten hours this saturday, as i have church on sunday. my mom said she's bonkers to have demanded 32-42 hours per week. man. i'm going to go nuts soon. just 8 hours of studying yesterday and i'm going crazy.

If you truly love the Lord, you'd want others to love Him too.

`[Verse of 7th November.]
[Jesus] came and preached peace to you who were afar off and to those who were near. -Ephesians 2:17

went to church with my parents today. while in church there was a new speaker, mr poulsson. i tot he was justice's father. heh. ya anw, we were supposed to turn to Colossians, but i couldnt find the page. both my parents had to stop listening and help me find it. =D oops.

ya, so the three of us plus my aunt and grandma went for lunch. my mom, aunt and grandma used it to talk about huang na. after that my dad sent my aunt and grandma home. on the way home we blasted the stereo in the car. we were playing my dad's burned cd. but the songs were almost similar to my own. like simple plan, evanescence and hoobastank. i enjoyed the ride home.

i have to figure out a way to cram in 12 hours of study today, and here i am still blogging. seriously, i have to start learning how to arrange my priorities.

Christ's victory over death means peace for His saints.

`[Verse of 5th November.]
You shall love your neighbour as yourself. -Romans 13:9

today was beach day. it was totally fun. i had intended to just sit on the beach with my book and discman, but jon and xiu feng pushed me into the sea. -_-" so yeah, i got wet. so what the heck, i threw myself into the deeper waters. we saw an isolated piece of land about 20m away from the shore, so sherlyn, gab, jon, xiu feng and i swam there. sherlyn and xiu feng tanned at one side, while me and jon had a heart-to-heart talk about 10m away. gab was buliding some thinger which turned out to be really nice.

after that i remembered that daniel was supposed to be there soon.. so i swam back with sherlyn and xiu feng to find him. after that i went back with xiu feng to tan again. after awhile we got hungry, so we headed to burger king to eat. eat le, den sherlyn, gab, xiu feng and gab went to watch a parrot show. the parrots were soooo cute!! so smart too.

after that went back to tan again. dunno why, but there wasnt any difference in my skin color. wasting time. but i'll try to go there again next time. should tan in the late morning. sun'll be scorching then. ya, so i was having the time of my life. first was a heart-to-heart talk with jon, then another one with xiu feng. all of us opened up. we vomited out everything that was bothering us. i feel better now.

by the time me and xiu feng finished showering it was really late. xiu feng and jon went home, then the other four of us went to harbourfront shopping centre. watched sher and gab stuff themselves with yoshinoya, then went to take photo with a plastic figure of the "bear from the big blue house". did wacky stuff. gab got upset over something.. gab u ok?

then watched daniel have his dinner at a food court and we joked like mad. after that i almost hugged a palm tree. -_-" har har. ya, so then it was about 9, so we headed back home. i'm really off my schedule. ms lim is gonna kill me on monday. i'm like, supposed to show her my work. and what can i show? just the highlighting of the textbook? and i was supposed to be catching up on this year's work, not next year's. sheesh. and the wonderful me left all my books in the locker. could i get more stupid?

the surprise of the cake was ruined for xiu feng. the sun kinda melted it as daniel was lugging it along with him when we went for lunch. ya and blablabla. i had a great time today. i cant believe it just ended. and really, have to thank God for holding back the rain today.

Needy people need our helping hand.

`[Verse of 5th Nov.]
Get out of your country, from your family and from your father's house, to a land that I will show you. -Genesis 12:1

went to see ms lim again today. mmmz. she reread my letter to her in front of me, and she said that she could tell it was written with great sincerity. i was so happy then, at least she knew i put my whole heart into that letter. dad said it was one of my virtues or soomething. he said whatever i did i always did with great sincerity. well, at least now i know one of my good points. haha.

xiu feng said something yesterday when i was watching the princess diaries two with her and joel. and what she said really got me thinking hard. really hard.

on my way home i was so stoned, kind of lost in my own thoughts. i almost missed my stop. but i'm thankful that i found out what was bothering me. but i dont know how to solve it. oh well.

i cant believe tomorrow's the beach outing. finally!! after waiting for soooo long. sky looks dark, i hope it ceases raining for tomorrow. i know we'll definitely have a good time. xiu feng in particular. -winks.

A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his path. -Proverbs 16:9

`[Verse of 1st November.]
He shall be like a tree planted by the waters, which spreads out its roots by the river. -Jeremiah 17:8

continued reading that book by Bob George. once i started reading i couldnt put it down. when i was telling myself that once i finished reading a page, i'd go to sleep, the book suddenly got interesting. haha. and i used to dread reading Christian books. strange.

so went for brunch after lessons today. surprisingly i was supposed to go back to 3f's schedule, and you couldnt have imagined how happy i was. i forgot that i was going to normal for a second. anw.. xiu feng was going to clementi with isabelle so sherlyn and i decided to tag along. it was alright, we joked and stuff. and xiu feng was sms-ing her friend. -rolls eyes.

xiu feng and sherlyn persuaded me to go watch the grudge on thursday. haishaishais. i guess i'll borrow gab's discman or something and sleep in there. i'd probably not watch it anw. horror films freak me out. still adjusting to the fact that i actually agreed.

The fires of life will not destroy you if you are watered by the River of Life.